The comment had an underlying message that Blogging or being on Instagram was causing her to neglect her family. As a “Mommy Blogger” or Mommy Instagrammer, we are often thrown some pretty harsh judgements from people who likely really mean well, but perhaps aren’t truly informed or maybe even looking at the big picture.
I decided to share a bit of information and comparison that will hopefully shed some light on blogging and why a lot of moms choose to write blogs and post regularly on Instagram.
The comment that was left on my friends post was similar to this:
“Maybe you should give Blogging/Instagram a break and focus all of your attention on your family for a season”
The comment above isn’t word for word what was left on my friends post and that is to protect the person who made the comment and the friend who received it.
I think its fairly clear what that person meant with their comment, though. “You’re spending too much time on Instagram and not enough time with your family. Ok, bear with me, I just want to offer another perspective.
**Before I go any further, I need to disclaimer that I am 100% in agreement that there are seasons in life where we need to unplug from technology, take breaks from social media, refocus, and refresh. I am also 100% in agreement with the phrase “everything in moderation”. There are so many things we need to balance as moms and so many opinions on how we should and should not balance EVERYTHING.
We get advice on almost every aspect of motherhood and we can also google advice on almost every aspect of parenting. There are opinions on everything from breastfeeding to sleep training, what to feed your toddler, how to dress your toddler, pre-schools, strollers, carseats, diapers, the.list.goes.on!
It’s awesome to have experience and knowledge that you can share with other moms out there. The trouble occurs when you try to give advice that can end up coming across as shaming. This usually happens when you give someone advice that you may truly think helpful but actually comes across as judgemental simply because it was misinformed.
What is YOUR Hobby?
I am a firm believer in the importance of having a creative outlet or hobby that is JUST FOR YOU. Mom’s give so much of themselves on a daily basis, and are often juggling work at home or work out of home.
Let me ask a question. Would you say to a mom who bakes cookies every day to “take a break from making cookies so that she can fully focus on her family?” Or, would you suggest to a mom who likes to garden that she “take a break from gardening for a season so that she can fully focus on her family?”. That seems silly right? Gardening and Baking are such noble hobbies and note worthy past times that one would never consider them neglectful activities.
What about the mom who loves to read. She’s got the kiddos all tucked into bed after a long day, she’s poured a glass of wine, curled up in a blanket on the couch and digs into a good book. Would you tell that mom to “stop taking that time to herself in the evening and spend more time focusing on her family” ??
Ok, one more analogy for you (gosh I just love analogy’s cause they really bring perspective don’t they?) . How about the mom who stays up sewing every night after the kids go to bed. Sewing is such a relaxing hobby for so many moms. A space that helps them unwind and be creative. Would you ask a mom who sews to “stop sewing and focus more of her attention on her family” ???
Why is Blogging any Different
All of that seems silly and a bit over the top right? Moms NEED that outlet for themselves, that place where they can be creative or literally just sit there and mentally gap out. Without it, a lot of us moms might go a bit batty and cross eyed LOL.
So why do you think people view Blogging or Posting on Instagram once a day any differently than Baking, Gardening, or Sewing? There seems to be this common misconception that Blogging or Posting on Instagram is neglectful. I think the reality is that Blogging or Posting on Instagram is simply more public. No one sees that mom baking cookies or sewing or reading her book.
Sadly, it seems to be a down side of this fun creative hobby that we call Blogging. The public side of Blogging opens us up to be judged or shamed and I guess like any extreme sport that one would choose, being judged becomes our risk factor.
Why Blogging is a Great Hobby
1 | Blogging/Posting on Instagram, just like sewing, gardening, or baking is a hobby that can easily be done from home, when kids are napping or in bed for the night.
2 | Blogging/Posting on Instagram is a fantastic way to unwind. Writing, for many moms is a such a great way to share feelings, emotions, knowledge, advice and so much more.
3 | Blogging/Posting on Instagram is a great creative outlet. Regardless of how in depth you get into Blogging, there are creative vibes all over this hobby.
4 | Blogging/Posting on Instagram doesn’t cost a lot of money. Off course, like any hobby, the sky is the limit with how much you want to spend and like any hobby, the further you get involved, the more financial commitment you can “choose” to spend. The beauty with Blogging as a hobby is that you really only need a computer and/or a smartphone. The rest is all inside you waiting to come out on the screen.
I bet there are even more great reasons to support the hobby of Blogging. I’d love to hear them in the comments:)
The Truth Behind the Misconception
My heart for this post was simply to shed a bit of light and truth on some of these misunderstandings which might help viewers see a different perspective:)
A Common Misconception | Bloggers spend all day on their computer/phone
Another Perspective | As I mentioned in the first paragraph, “everything in moderation” . There is definitely a balance to this just like many things in life. Regardless of the scope of Blogging one is doing, it does NOT force you to be on your devices all day. Its all about time management, planning in advance, and carving out appropriate time.
I think the misconception can happen with Instagram and more specifically Instagram Stories. A lot of us Instagram mama’s will share little snippets of our life throughout the day. I think an Instagram story screen is 15 seconds long? Ok, so lets say we shared twenty of those 15 second snippets from our day. To the public it appeared like we were on our phone all.day.long but reality is that those twenty snippets took up 5 minutes of our time.
I guess my point here is that it’s important we don’t jump to conclusions based on what it looks like from a misunderstood perspective. It’s better to ask questions and be informed before making a judgement call:)
Good Moms can have a Creative Outlet
Moms are constantly doing their best to juggle “all the things”. Our days are typically very focused on our family but it doesn’t mean you’re “not” focusing your attention on family if you also happen to enjoy a hobby or creative outlet.
A mom might go to the gym, read books, scrapbook, bake, garden, post on Instagram, or take a nap! That mom can still be a good mom, focusing on her family. She just also knows that its important to have her own outlet.
(Once again, I’ll acknowledge and agree that there are times when these outlets need to be set aside or balanced better if they start coming in the way of family life BUT, be careful how you decide or judge that of someone and certainly don’t shame them on a public forum:))
Until Next Time,