You don’t look old enough to have a daughter that age! I’ve heard this comment 100’s of times over the past 20 years and my cheeky response is usually “well, I’m not”. The truth is I wasn’t technically “old enough” at 16 either but I was prepared to show the world otherwise. Is there really a perfect age for becoming a mom? Is there a perfect time to buy your first house, get married, start a career, go on the trip? My simple answer is.
– No –
Your perfect timing is probably completely different than my perfect timing, or “their” perfect timing; whoever they are (insert eye roll lol). I always bug my hubby cause he talks about “they” and is usually referring to the latest article he just read on google regarding any random subject. Isn’t it funny how we’ve become so accustomed to taking advice from them when truthfully how could one person’s opinion really be the generic answer when it comes to our individual life story?! Why have we let google become our determining opinion?
Back to my original point though. I’m 37 and I have a 20 year old daughter. Shocking right?
I love the look on a persons face as they do the math on this. Well, to be honest, some days I love the conversation and other days I would rather just end it before it starts lol. I used to worry so much that someone would see me different or form a judgy opinion about us, but over time I’ve learned that the general population actually loves the uniqueness of our story. I think the hardest part when I have these conversations if feeling the need to explain the whole back story so they know were married, we have a great life together etc. What if I don’t fill them in on every little detail and they form their own opinions or get the wrong ideas? The truth is that my story could have been very different, and for so many young teenage mama’s IS very different and thats ok too; thats what makes each story unique and special in its own way:)
Some days I leave the listener wondering and other days I take the time and share our whole – Story –
Usually when I take the time to share the details of our beginning, the listener is so surprised to hear the progression from “teenage parents” to our life now. I am super proud of us and how we have taken our teenage pregnancy story and beat the odds. The balance of being proud of where we are now is knowing that its not been without its ups and downs. Being together since we were 15 & 18 means we basically grew up together, and with that comes its own challenges, struggles, but also rewards! The truth is that our story is a story of grace, and then MORE GRACE. There has been a lot of endurance, plenty of choosing committment when all we wanted to do was run, hard work, and a fair bit of determination on both of our parts:)
Were we “ready” to be parents as far as the general consensus goes? No, probably not. Yet, our perspective, our community of support, and the grace we were given helped to steer our path, keep us grounded and ultimately gave us the endurance we needed in that season and every season since.
I guess what I would want people to get out of our story is that it doesn’t really matter what comes your way or where you find yourself in a particular season. Its more about what you do once you are put into a situation. Maybe you’re the teenage parent who ends up walking through your situation alone, maybe you are in your 30’s and still haven’t bought your first home, maybe you’re struggling to decide what career to start and when. Don’t compare your story to someone else. Don’t listen to what “they” say. Find out what you’re called to do in this season, and don’t be embarassed ONE BIT about who you are!
And the next time someone tells me I don’t look old enough to have a daughter that age, I might just simply say – Thank you –
Here are some photos from our early beginnings. Photo quality not “quite” the same as nowadays lol. This was before the digital age;) .